Mannerism of Teachings & What Draws

When people judge or conclude on the mannerisms of teachings and the people who are drawn to it, it just becomes very obvious that they are still putting something into the box although they claim to be getting out of it. Surely, at this moment, it also looks like I am also putting them in the box by stating this too.

I read an article not too long ago about a teacher who is apparently guiding his disciples towards awakening, advocating that it is still gentleness that leads people out of delusion, rather than harshness. Interestingly, a few weeks later, I had to edit a similar article. Personally, I found both articles quite funny as if trying to reason which mannerism is better than the other, or to achieve an understanding on why some are drawn to the respective mannerisms.

The reason why I find it funny is because it is impossible to define which mannerism is better and what more, which is better for oneself although one may very well have his or her preference. And to conclude that one is drawn towards one approach and not the other, ultimately is also limiting. I find that the drawing or resonance towards teachings or teachers’ behaviors has much to do with one’s own intention towards the whole objective of being in touch with the teachings or the teacher. It can be unconscious intentions of seeking comfort, love, approval or even to the extent punishment, depending on what seeds are growing in the abyss of the mind at the moment of seeking.

For one that is seeking the truth, I have observed, it doesn’t matter how the knowledge or information is being presented although at times, it can come as a shock and some form of discomfort can be experienced at first. But again, as mentioned, depending on the initial intention of the original contact, the mannerism adopted during the contact is secondary, yet becomes a necessary means to fulfill the conditions of awakening at the point of contact as part of the process. So to conclude that one is better than the other, or even try to reason why there is preference, is to totally deter the natural law of what is prudently, necessary and needed for the moment for the objective to be achieved in the midst of the process.

Being privileged to be in the shoes who have had experiences of sharing in both mannerisms (gentleness & harshness), those specific times were simply explored and surrendered for the benefit of the sharing sessions. So far, the comments which I have received in return were phrases such as a bright beautiful angel, a living Buddha, even a tough-love-no-nonsense-no-frills teacher/comrade. Yet at the end of it all, my true gift in return was not in the resounding words that came back to my consciousness, but rather, in being a witness to the process of awakening to their own clarity and freedom. And yes, I do get a grateful Thank You from them too. Secretly, I myself am thankful to them, and most importantly to the natural process that took place without my own interference and interpretation of it.

Definitely, the gentler approach would draw crowd and most times, popularity too. Yet, it would be equally redundant if the gentler approach was used as a means to that, as opposed to truly sharing or guiding one who is truly yearning to find out what is truly going on. But then again, the non-abiding laws of the universe can always be trusted – where the seeker will always find what he seeks, since no man can be hidden from what he truly and sincerely seeks.

Therefore, so-called seekers, if you truly seek what you are sincerely seeking, why bother on the type of mannerism or how it arrives at your door when the Universe is merely delivering to you what you are seeking?

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Get Movin’

When you refuse to move when you are supposed to
Life throws you situations just so you can move.

Really, it’s nothing personal.

It is just the way it works so that you could get moving along with Life, freely.

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Conditional Goals

I had the privilege to be given a stage two weeks ago to stand in for a friend to conduct a sharing on thoughts. They were a bunch of university students.

Noticing that the crowd was able to grasp what I was sharing on how reality actually works for each of us; similarly and differentiatedly; I took it a step further to introduce the methodology of dissecting thought systems. I invited them to give me their train of thoughts and they gave me pretty relevant ones that were revolving around their current stage of life – exams, assignments, assessments. As I led them to see the meaning that has been put onto each thought, and more – we arrived at the theme thought for that night – failure.

So we worked with ‘failure’, finally recognizing the perception on failure churned out the other superficial thoughts on the surface level. It was expected that all of them perceived failure as an unpreferred circumstance to be in and that it is unacceptable not only to society, but to themselves. It was obvious – fear. Yet to me, fear alone at this juncture was not the ultimate but the ideas of what failure is to each of them; to me too, a long time ago; hence producing fear as effect. As we dissected further on the meaning of failure, they begin to see the other side of failure or rather the potentials that failure of a situation can bring forth. Some nodded their heads in agreement, while some kept silent as if I was about to lure them into the trap of being a failure. Those whom were silent were deep in thought while the class was given a moment to take in what was being shared and conversed. And in a while, one of the participants put his hand up and asked, “If I don’t have a fear of failure, how could I have a goal to be successful? It is because of this fear of being a failure, that I would work hard towards a goal to be successful.” I smiled. It was truly an innocent question.

I did not answer him, but replied him with another question instead.

“Do you have to have a fear of hunger now to know what you would like to eat for lunch tomorrow?”

He seemed a little shocked with that question, at the same time realizing that that question led him back to his own answer, which was “No.”

I went on explaining that we can have a goal and to some extent, even plan the steps towards it. But the trick here is to let go of the plan and come what way. The fear that is seemingly driving us towards the success is actually already telling us that we know what our future is like; and in a thwarted kind of way, we are actually already creating that for ourselves.

Our job is to do or be our best now, for now, and not for some imaginary future because there is none! Of course, it sounds like a swell ‘plan’ and to actually be something like that requires quite a huge amount of courage to surrender to what is, or perhaps, what is to become. The courage has to come beyond from the timidity of being involved in the limited ideas that one has already been conditioned or rather ‘gotten used to’ or ‘resigned to’ as the way of life in the world. Yup, learned through observations of surroundings not to mention the added on elements of being convinced by the people around. And nope, there is nothing wrong with that, too.

A memory now pops up of a conversation I had with a friend who called for counseling last night. She realized that all the decisions that she makes always backfires on her. She already recognized the manifestation of her experiences, or more true, her perceiving of what seemingly happens were related to some self-sabotage and unworthiness patterns. Yet what she wasn’t really seeing is that all her apparent choices were made from the same patterns of which led her to the same thing almost 100% of the time! She wasn’t really ‘moving out’ of the box as she struggles to justify her choices. She was in a merry-go-round chase. You know, like the snake biting its own tail. Perhaps the best thing she ever did ‘out of the box’ was to pick up the phone to dial my number!

Since she was a student of A Course in Miracles; though in my egoic opinion, not a very devoted one; I invited her to invite the *Holy Spirit into her decision making. And she asked a very pertinent question, “How would I know if it was the Holy Spirit’s Guidance to make a particular decision?”

I smiled (and yes, I have been smiling a lot).

“When it is unconditional.” I answered.

“Unconditional? What do you mean?” she asked shockingly, coming from a background of needing to do something for a purpose, a reason (geez, don’t we all?).

“Simply unconditional” I repeated. “When you could not find any reason to why you feel like doing it, do it! And be open to where it takes you!”

She laughed, as if ready for the adventure. Well, I don’t know actually… that was how it sounded like to me.

Any form of goals, decision makings when made out of information and perception of past experiences could never bring you out of where you think you are stuck. As Albert Einstein said, “You can’t solve the problem at the level it was created.” It means to say that you need to ‘get out’ of the problem and when I say that I am in no way implying that you run away from it, but merely move yourself to another level to look at the so-called problem. At that level, you will see the cause and effect of it. When you finally see it, it becomes the end of everything. This is the sense of anew-ness, where clarity, trust and surrender become a prominent pattern in the so-called process of Life.

Of course, you can’t realize one without knowing another. And it is not possible to push or ignore one to pursue another. I’d say that the entire process of disengaging past conditionings moves you backwards – backwards because you have gone way forward in a dream… another word for it is ‘undoing’. Without the undoing, what we all are is simply effects, effects of rotten thought systems. For all you know, when you are ‘done’ with the undoing, perhaps you would still be moved to make the same decisions, except this time, with a fresher perspective which is nearer to what it truly is! Good luck!

*Note: Holy Spirit is merely a terminology used in A Course of Miracle and does not denote any religions connotations. Holy Spirit in this context can be any word so chose by one – for all I care, it can be Wisdom, God, Life, Universe, or perhaps even D-O-G. 

 

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Know

An image surfaces
And floats away

Another surfaces
And merges inwards

Can I choose to remember this
By holding on
Or perhaps
Choose to forget this
By letting go

I don’t know

I chuckle

I remember that he said
Even when I don’t know
I know that I don’t know

How wonderful to know
I am but All Knowing 🙂

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Save Yourself

You have to save yourself from so many good-intentioned people, do-gooders, who are constantly advising you to be this, to be that.

Listen to them, thank them.

They don’t mean any harm — but harm is what happens.

You just listen to your own heart. That is your only teacher.

~ Osho ~

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Convening Point

What is the point of Health
when life lived is without Passion?

What is the point of Passion
when life lived is without Health?

Is one more significant than the other
when it is actually a balance that is called forth
for a meeting of both ends
in equilibrium
since both
mutually inclusive and exclusive at the same time
depending on which surfacing over another
concluding the importance on one
in each differing perceptive.

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Clear Grey

Every moment
dying
breathing shallowly

as if not enough
intoxicating limitability
with life force not
but suicide substance
depleting what seems desirous to the world
an inner desire to cease.

Asked once, “what do I want”
revealed then, “there is nothing that I want”
nothing fulfilling that of which is yearning
what the world sounds of
…money, relationships, materials…
if only, if only.

Progressing too fast?
What a highway!
Progressing too slow?
What a boat ride!
Progressing Just Right.
Could it be otherwise?

Nothing to say
though so much is being said.
Nothing to do
though so much is being done.
Melancholically Alone
yet paradoxically Pleased
in such Solace.

Indeed, what an irony!

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‘Re-Run’ Now

spoken too soon
without Wisdom
non-expectedly
it came a visit
knocking on the door
once again
a recurring of memory
apparently happening now

but is it really happening now
or only happening in thoughts now
churning out an experience
primeval yet familiar
opposite of Reality

asleep, awake,
asleep and then awake

unconscious, conscious
unconscious and then conscious

if only, if only

yet is it not obvious
a gift it is

the unreleased to be released
the ungiven up to be given up
the unforgiven to be forgiven
the unloved to be loved

only one purpose
only one purpose

the non-goner, a goner
and finally back to a non-goner and a goner again
an endless end
yet it’s ok
all iz well
all-iz-well

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If You Only Knew

If only you knew what lays beyond all your experiences;
you could rest in solace, assured
and unharmed.

Though you may cry, scream, shout, laugh or struggle only with a little smile,
you would play all themes and know you have never left.

For you have come home to yourself,
you have already been your way home,
all these while…
only you didn’t know,
and seemed to have forgotten the road,
as if someone or something had painted it black somehow…

But Light is never far,
for Love will always call you back,
through one form or another.

That sacredness had never been tainted…
Always had been that pure.
Always had been that innocent.
You’d just know you have always been
so so unwavering untouched.

Only now, to be awakened,
transcending it all
by means of the world, through the world, with the world;
though still in the world.

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Best Decision

Every moment is the best decision I could and can ever make, based on what I know, what I have learned before, and what I have experienced before; it is that thing that they refer to as ‘conditioning’ that leads to what I am in this moment.

A thought occurs, and I find that without questioning it, I am moving along with it, or resisting it. Without questioning it, or having the slightest insight of what the intent behind it is – that is where I am; chances of repeatedly doing what I have done before without pondering if that is entirely fruitful to me. Yet, to ascertain if that would be fruitful or fruitless to me is too would be a conclusion that I would and could make, for now, based on my past decisions, knowing and beliefs.

I have always been intrigued by this choice and no choice thing. One of my teachers reminds me that we always have a choice; and then another of my teacher shares that there is no choice. And then sometimes, I hear the same teacher who reminds me we always have a choice questioning me on how can there be a choice, and my other teacher who shares that there is no choice say, ‘choose again’. It becomes confusing after a while… and also, pretty hilarious when there is realisation.

The same subject was brought up again during a sharing session some time ago. And I find that most of us, if not all are still concluding if there is a choice or no choice when in truth, the pondering of such (the choice or no choice) is to leave the authentic moment Now and go back into some illusionary backward or forward to attempt a conclusion that could never, ever be made. It is very much like the conclusion we make on everything else be it a person or a scenario.

The truth is the choice chosen is always based on the moment, and in the moment that we have made that choice, we realise that in that choice chosen, that wasn’t much of a choice either. Yet, to say we have no choice, is also untrue, as if there are no other options left except what is available to me now.

Choice and no choice come in many levels. Choices become possible when there is open mindedness, when there is learning and of course supporting information. I invited some participants to ponder on the good and bad on reading during a weekend workshop. Whilst there were some of them who were unable to come up with anything that was ‘bad’ about reading, there was this one participant who was open minded enough to explore because she really wanted to know; and when she shared her thoughts with the rest of us, it opened up the minds of others as well. Of course, one might ask, what is the good in asking or inquiring… it is when you have an open mind to recognise the possibility then the choice or decision can then be made with a clear mind and wider potential; and whatever  the choice or decision may be; determines the action (in some cases) and thus experience.

The choice and no choice occurring in each individual is somewhat different in my observation. What is true and authentic for one, may not be so for another. And yes, every choice or decision made has its own cause and effect. Yet, if the choice is made based on the cause and effect experienced and concluded in the past, it can very much be based on ignorance too and not inviting oneself to explore new possibilities and potentials.

Still, choice and no choice is simply a noticing occurring in the moment. If it is within our capacity and ability to make a choice to move towards something, do it. If it is not, it is ok too and then it becomes a choice on how and what to perceive of it; that again choosing another outcome of experience internally. Every moment is an occurrence of choice and no choice since they are not really separated. Yet to ponder on this choice and no choice thing is as good as deciding whether I should go to the toilet or not when my bladder is already signalling and then pondering I could stay with it a little longer or simply surrender to it and go for a release. Well, until it is so full and it has to be released – it would still be a decision to be made if I would stay where I am for it to be released there and then itself (much like a baby who doesn’t care much until someone tells him/her it is a shame or that it is not right) or to head to the ‘rightful’ destination of what others call the toilet. It’s funny, come to think of it. And whatever choice that is to be made at that point in time, is ultimately the ‘best’ decision I could and can ever make in the moment! What could ever be wrong with it until I or someone begins to tell me that there is something ‘wrong’ with it?

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