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Archive for January, 2012

It is interesting that after many years of arriving late at a loved one’s place for the festive season, being married; I was early at the loved one’s place this year, being single – and yet what impacted me was the loved one’s constant comments on how badly I had brought up the little one. If I am observing truly, it must be the little one’s reluctance to greet a person as openly as how a parent or in this case, a very prone-to-entertaining-people-loved-one would like it.

Time and time again, the loved one repeatedly says, “teach her!” and time and time again, I ponder how to… do I teach her when the situation has not arise and merely feed her information when her interest at that moment is clearly something else, or simply play time with me; or do I take the opportunity to share with her when the situation arise, and that may mean the delayed greeting response to another which can be for a few hours, a few months, or perhaps a lifetime? In my own observation and experience with the little one, ‘teaching’ and ‘guiding’ a child is not a one-day or one-night thing and has much to do with appropriate timing and conditions.

I am prone to allowing my daughter to be as she is as I do not believe that she is rude or badly brought up as how the old school society would label a child if she has not achieved the minimum standard of manners. Having multiple conversations with her before, she has shared with me her shyness and her uneasiness in relating to someone whom she is not closed to or hardly knows. I can understand that sentiment and found her rather wise being able to express truthfully what is in her heart at such a tender age. As a mom, all I can do is to assure her that it is safe, or that it is okay whenever mommy is around (at least, for now); but it still boils to her whether she wishes to make that move or not. As I trust the pace of her own growth, she has shown me again and again that without my interference coupled with her openness to my constant impromptu sharing, she simply blossoms. As a parent, my job is to guide her to her own being, not to mould her into what other people expect her to be; yet strangely enough, the constant pressure from what is being measured as ‘old enough’ especially from a loved one can be pretty daunting. The tug of war within is really pretty hard to ignore.

It is interesting that when I share with friends who are on the journey about the experiences of the little one and I, the comments I’d receive are that if ever I come back the next life, they would like to be my child. And here, the loved one, who is one of my closest mirrors, reflects my being a not-so-good mom.  It is funny how perhaps if those friends who had expressed that they wanted me to be their mom the next life might change their minds if they were in the loved one’s shoes and the loved one might very well be very proud of me for my way of ‘bringing up’ the little one if the loved one was one of my friends on the journey.

I am definitely not a good mom by society’s standards or by anyone’s standards. And thank goodness, I myself do not have standards on how to be or what is a good mom. I do not need to teach my little one how to be a good person, for she is already one; I do not need to teach my little one how to be a useful person in the community, for she is already one; I do not need to teach her how to make other people like her because people already like her; I do not need to teach my little one how to make people happy because she already knows how to in her own creative ways and is wise enough to know that after she tries her best, she keeps to her business knowing that there is nothing she can do if the other chooses to remain in the experience of being unhappy.

My role as a mom, other than the usual requirement of nurturing, caring, loving is to highlight to her areas of concerns relating to her being-ness and it will have nothing to do with others’ or my expectations of how she should be, or even how I should be bringing her up with my role as a mom.

In truth, being a mom to the little one has nothing much to do with her but rather, with my own being-ness i.e. with what I am. She learns what she observes in me, and if she likes what she sees, she will be that; likewise if she doesn’t like what she sees, she will be the opposite of it. Other than that, in momentary differing moments, my job is to share with her with the intent to uplift her and to expand her views of her experiences as I would with anybody that crosses my path.

Good mom or not; seriously, how would I do? and why would I care? Without the incessant expectations of being a mom, wouldn’t I be better off just being the best of me, in every moment?

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In simplicity, there is complexity;

yet when complexity is seen, simplicity is restored.

~ GG ~

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Lunar is to mean Moon, as opposed to Chinese.

To celebrate the Lunar New Year must mean a New Moon.

Yet, is there a new Moon
or even the birth of a Full Moon,
but a new Moon ‘born’ visually in sight, in the context of the human mind,
or more truthfully,
the seeing of simply, Mind…

Blessed New Moon then.

May all that you remember as joyful and loving purpose for this celebration
be yours for all appearing of the Moon within your visual sight in any moment.

Blessed Be.

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Perception makes experience.

It has been said, “A miracle is a shift of perception”; and many ask, “what then is reality?”

Reality is not what has happened, but your response or your reaction to what is happening or has happened and that makes it your experience.

For example, when you perceive ignorance in another, what is your response or reaction to another? Likewise, when you perceive innocence in another, what is then your response or reaction to another? Therein lies your experience, your reality.

Perception is for your own sake, thereby your experience, your reality and has never, ever been about the outer or for another.

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Being mindful or aware, is not enough… People ask me how is it that even when they are mindful or aware, the old patterns keep recurring as if now wondering does mindfulness really work, or perhaps a more wise question is ~ is it enough?

The additional ingredient to add to the recipe is inquisitiveness. To bring in inquisitiveness is to introduce an attitude of interest, or a different mindset from simply being aware to being aware with a purpose – a noble purpose of pure understanding for realisation to occur.

In inquisitiveness, natural inquiry is already occurring simultaneously and yes conscious questions too can be ask, such as ‘What’s it in for me?’, ‘What do I get out of this?’, ‘What do I want out of this?’, ‘What does it mean to me when this or that happens, or not?’, though not necessarily all the time. Be wise enough to discern.

Be mindful not ask these questions to get rid of the moment, but really to bring the Right attitude of wanting understanding the old conditioning to be realised. In realising an error, a natural shift has already taken place, knowingly or not.

As much as being mindful or being aware is not enough, yet it is being mindful or aware that sets the notion to understanding and realisation, with wisdom and peace arriving as its end.

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*from the voice & heart of one ~ dedicated to Princess MA*

When I MYOB, does it mean I do not even voice out my concern?
Apparently, no…

And yet, what is the point when I voice out my concern
especially to one that I hold dear to my heart
caring for the physical need
when she does not heed her own
leaving only the feeling of hurt that she heeds not my call?

It is as if it is my body that suffers
albeit it is seemingly her experience, her body
and strangely, although she speaks of it and even sound of it
which comes from no pretence,
she does not answer to the call to rest
or even my call…

and if I were to MYOB
would she one day break down, finally…

and all that is left of her
would be that body
lying anywhere it is lying
breathing or not breathing
speaking or not speaking
and it could be me weeping my heart out
or perhaps standing there telling her my truth
“I told you so!”

or perhaps….
just maybe…
I could respect her just as I would like respect from another
understanding their care
yet still having my free choice of experience
whatever it is
seizing the moment
that so-very-precious moment
to live, while I still can
to do, while I still can
whatever it is…
without losing integrity of what is true to me at that point in time
yet without any meaning to another that I care-less about you
that I may begin to understand that
it is not that she is not heeding my call
or even the call of her own physical body
but simply choosing her choice of experiences

simply, simply in love with herself,
immensely, totally, unconditionally
despite her bodily conditions
that I may too, do the same
without struggle, without resistance
and simply, simply…

heed only to the call of the heart…
whatever it is
whatever it means…

I have minded her business, but it was for a worthy cause…
for I have shown myself that I am capable of caring and loving
for I have learned that even when I mind my own business someday
or when someone minds her own business somehow
it does not mean that we do not Love…

It is because of Love
that we are able to mind others’ business
and also not mind others’ business…

It is because of Love
that I am able to not mind my business
and also mind my own business…

Wonderful, isn’t it?

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If Now is what creates Tomorrow

Blessed Now… to all… ❤

 

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