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Archive for May, 2013

So, yesterday was an official ‘Teacher’s Day’ celebrated by the world. I remember when I was a young kid, I would bring an apple to each of my teachers on such a day and wish them ‘Happy Teacher’s Day’. Why an apple? I heard or read from somewhere the best gift to a teacher was an apple and I honestly don’t know why. But since there is a saying, ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away’, my guess is that it is either to make sure that the teacher doesn’t go on sick leave so that we could have our lessons on, or it is simply a wish for good health.

Interestingly, I received a ‘Happy Teacher’s Day’ message.

I’d have to admit that I had my fair share of dreaming to be like my own teachers – well loved, well received and well respected. But that was the past and I am not very inclined at the moment to revisit that memory except to say that at some point, someting just felt untrue about it. The air of being a teacher just didn’t sustain itself very long in me. I’d have to acknowledge too that to some selected few, I am being held up on a pedestal as a teacher. Yet, interestingly, there is always a tendency to remind them that I am a friend. That too, have somehow turned untrue to me now. I felt I am now, more of a comrade – someone to work with if you are really interested in working within.

The few who call upon me do ask me questions, and many a times expecting to get some sort of answers from me. What answers can I give to them, except to restructure their own questions and to redirect it back to them to arrive at their own answers? And they do get their own answers, somehow. And when they do, they are discreet about it; a little like me; because they know, and they share with me their own little liberation as means of expressing their appreciation. And it ends there.

So this person who wished me ‘Teacher’s Day’ shared with me that while he previously learned many tools from this particular teacher to unknot the mystic mind which he also learned from other sources, I apparently did something unique which was to empower him to create personal realisations out of these information learned. He shared further that as much as he now saw that I am his teacher, he also started to see why he will need to transcend through me in order for him to be his own teacher. Apparently, what I shared with him opened some doors for him and allowed him to see himself in me. It was awfully nice of him to think that way and that I was the one I did it.

I pondered a little on Teacher’s Day after receiving his message and thought that the most appropriate teacher to be grateful to ought to be Life itself. And upon pondering further, that felt untrue too as the anwer that felt truer came back towards the inner teacher, which is Godme – God&Me. No one can teach you anything. They merely share with you. You have to do the work, and Life offers that opportunity to you for your own inquiry, your own clarity and your own liberation.

No man shall be blind from what he seeks and wish to find unless what he truly wishes is not to find what he seeks.

So, am I a teacher?

Personally, I selfishly and arrogantly prefer to be labelled as a Comrade 🙂

Yet, if I am to teach anything to anyone, let it be that which directs one to Godme – the only Teacher to love, worship, cherish and respect within, and not me or anyone else. In that way, the outer conditions – the world – becomes an opportunity to learn and to be taught, from within. Then only can it be said, that it is solely yours and no one else’s.

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sitting on the mountain top
watching
witnessing
here
there
everywhere
now here
boundless, non separated

what’s going on in here
what’s going on over there
secretly smiling
an occasional laugh
and at times, just amused
at the dreamers
of those
too many of them
talking but not walking
too few of them
walking but not talking
and many more
neither talking nor walking

naught the judge
though at times
the plaintiff
and sometimes
the defender
most times
simply the witness
or perhaps, even the jury

what is to become
what there is to become
the dreamers’ dream of being awake
dreaming it is it
the dreamers finally awaken
standing at the border
simply amazed in wonderment
and ready for those
who are finally, ready.

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Be gentle with me
I am only a child.

When you scream at me
Screech at me
Or even defend in your righteousness
By being stern with me
I will only retreat into my cave
Or throw my tantrums
Never seeing your point of view
Only wishing you hear me out
Perhaps even wishing I was dead
Because
I am only a child
I am only a child.

I am yearning for you to listen to me
To see me
The anger brewing within me
The hurt behind it all
Yet
Don’t lie to me
Don’t coax me
Just simply tell me the truth
Because I may feel better today
By your sweet honeyed words
But when I find out the truth tomorrow
I will hate you
And that will be worst
Because I have hurt even more
And I might even hate me for knowing you
Hate me for trusting you
Hate us for being like this
I am only a child, you see
I am only a child.

Force me not in my growing up
If that is what you are truly teaching me
I am only a child now
I am only a child
Learning and picking up what is in front of me
What you do
What you say
No matter how hard you try to make me grow up
I just can’t
Because
I am only a child
It is just not possible for me to see
Just not possible, beyond my time.

And it looks like
The way that you are now
Is most likely what I will become
Just another child trapped
Not listening
Not understanding
Because I am learning from a child too
And that child is you…

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You are like that shadow
haunting me day and night.

An object
capable of bringing me to the heights of a happy dream
or the pits of a nightmare.

Just because of your appearance
with your whims and fancy
denying my whims and fancy
suppressing what is to be
arghhh…. the struggle.

Yet you are only that
an object of attention
and what power I had given out there
inevitably
stirringly within my core
that much inner work to be done
to clean you off the slate.

Not that reciprocal thoughts never occurred
but what is the use of revenge
as if an attack out there can ever cease
when the attack is actually right in here
within the indoor stadium of the mind.

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We can’t stop others from being defensive by telling people not to be defensive.

But, we can choose not to be defensive even in the presence of people who are seemingly defensive.

 

When we are sure of what we are defensive about, that is righteousness.

But, when we begin to question our defensiveness and the surety of our defensiveness, that is clarity and the doorway to expansion, wisdom and compassion which includes the embrace of self and others.

 

~ GG ~

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Loving is really that simple. Just loving, effortlessly.

It is only when beliefs and concepts start creeping in, that it makes the experience of loving a little harder hence propelling people to behave pretty strangely towards each other.  As if to stay away, it is possible to deny what is there; as if to stay away, it is possible to let time ‘heal’ the wound of not having; yet again, it is not about staying away or staying together. It is really about being awake to the moment, awake to the beliefs and concepts that one is still holding on in the mind that is stopping the experience of being maximal in full appreciation without guilt or regret.

Yet, does loving really stop? It doesn’t although it can be easily perceived that way.

It is really truly easier just to love, without harbouring the seeds of wanting, having, owning, judging, expecting, leaving, going. Yet, as long as there is still inner work to be done, do it for one’s own sake and not for another. What has the other got to do with all the concepts you have in the mind? The other cannot “add” to your reality. The other’s presence in your life, is ultimately only how you choose to perceive it to be and hence that becomes your reality.

Other than that, it is just as it is.

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