Archive for March, 2011

Everything here
run by perceptions

Onto self
onto others
what is formless
not left out

That ‘thing’
which is not really a ‘thing’
but named a ‘thing’
separated out from wholeness
defined by ‘colors’
and intensity of its sub-origin
then named ‘a tree’
and it is ‘green’
and so on and so forth

Liken the nature of mind
attracting its own kind
its intensity
cannot be seen as it is
but defined
from comparison
from consequence
of other experiences
also defined

Like words, actions, views
all conjured and conditioned
by past learning and experiences
ancient, ancient ideas
that are somewhat difficult
though still possible
to shine light upon

How to meet
with meanings apart from each other
how to understand
if not to listen

Listening not to the words
but to the heart of the soul
where words only mean to direct
but not it
pointing to what is,

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Peace is the closest word, if not the chosen word to the un-wavered state of non-movement and stillness. It is not really a feeling though it feels like it, so it would be wise not to conclude that when there are triggers, peace is gone or that there is no peace.

Peace is not something that is reinstated but just clouded for a while in the midst of mind’s turmoil and or rather, when we are identified with the turmoil. Hence the saying ‘be at peace with it’ is to mean that we no longer resist the mind’s turmoil and naturally become dis-identified with the turmoil hence joins with the state of peace with the mere acceptance of the situation.

So some people say that they are unable to accept the turmoil, then accept the non-acceptance of the turmoil hence coming back to join with the state of peace.

The reason why there are moments when there is peace and moments when we feel turmoil is because of the switch of mind states but does not necessarily mean that you are joined with the state of peace. It only means that we are where we are.

Yet, when there are moments when there is peace amidst the turmoil and moments when it is clearly the turmoil that is being experienced, is because awareness is unable to remain aware of the turmoil for a long period of time but joins with it once again, so to speak.

The reason why awareness joins with it is because awareness is not aware, as in the sustenance of the awake or aware state is not strong hence it goes back into not being aware, as it is said to be asleep.

Thus to remain awake is a constant effort though after a while, the effort of it becomes tense. Yet if awareness is aware of the ‘effort’ so to speak, it becomes awake again hence it is a consistent practice to the point of perfection that it remains aware all in all of its moment. It is like this, there is either a witnessing, or a total immersion.

Again, all are only words used. Any words that can be humanly defined are bound to be interpreted or misconstrued. Don’t believe me; continue the practice and you will see.

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Almost every ego contains at least an element of what we might call “victim identity”. Some people have such a strong victim of themselves that it becomes the central core of their ego. Resentment and grievances form an essential part of their sense of self.

Even if your grievances are completely “justified,” you have constructed an identify for yourself that is much like a prison whose bars are made of thought forms. See what you are doing to yourself, or rather what your mind is doing to you. Feel the emotional attachment you have to your victim story and become aware of the compulson to think or talk about it. Be there as the witnessing presence of your inner state. You don’t have to do anything. With awareness comes transformation and freedom.

– Stillness Speaks, The Egoic Self, Eckhart Tolle

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When J says to lose idols, he did not mean to stop having or cease to have for that is beyond control; but to realize that idols are not what fulfils and is not what you truly want. What he meant was to lose the middleman, and to start here with yourself – acknowledging what you have always wanted is here, within you, now.

Idols are made out of ideas, concepts from a space of which you think you lack – and idols, while their functions are not for what you think it is for – are merely nothing, including that of which you think you are. The you that He refers to is not you as the body but as who you truly are; which is beyond this body hence the body, as in your body of which you think you are, including of your ideas, views and identity too, are not excluded in the category of idols.

His meaning of losing idols, is not to mean ‘leave’ or to ‘give up’ anyone or anything but to leave, give up and dissolve the meaning of what you put onto yourself, your brothers and sisters, an experience, a situation, a material or circumstance as they are all void of the essence that could ever complete you, amidst their already pronounced function. And to define them to suit the needs of which you think would fit the bill is to tell the Creator you are in charge and that you know best.

If it is true that you know best then why would you weep when idols fail you? For you must surely know by now that what you want is what you get. Perhaps you know what you want but thought otherwise hence the suffering of the confused mind, not aligned with what is it that is willed.

Seek within is to mean that what you are seeking for is already yours, and what would compel that you seek outwards is but the belief that you do not have it and thus rely on idols to bring you what you thought you needed or did not have. It is either you have amnesia or lack the courage to truly give yourself what you want, thus finding a scapegoat of which you would call an idol to strip you off what you already have and yet thought it was not there. Here still, you do not realise that no one can take away from you what is forever yours and is only yours to claim. Claim too, is a wrong word to use as it means that it was once lost. It was never lost, but unseen and what is unseen is not and never lost, only temporarily forgotten in innocence; to be reminded again.

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None of you are victims of someone else’s actions toward you. You bring into your life what you allow to come in. If you say “no” to what you don’t want, you bring in what you do want. It is that simple.

The only factor that makes all this complicated is that you don’t always know what you want or, if you do, you don’t trust it and remain committed to it. When your unconscious desires are different from your conscious goals, what you bring into your life reflects a mixture of both. Your creative capacity functions both consciously and unconsciously. Mind is creative, whether or not it is aware of itself.

If you want to create consciously, you must bring your unconscious desires and fears up for acceptance and inspection. Then, you will understand why your experience often differ remarkably from what you consciously intend. You can then adjust your goals so that you begin to honor all of you, not just the adult part.

When you understand your desires and fears, you can make choices that do not violate the more childish, vulnerable parts of your psyche. This may mean that your goals become more immediate, short-term and realistic. But this is a positive step, insuring that your long-term goals will not be undermined by the scared and wounded aspects of your psyche.

Expecting too much from yourself or from others is as dysfunction as expecting too little. Wanting a job or relationship you don’t have the skills or maturity to handle is counterproductive, if not downright traumatic. It is far better to seek out a less challenging job or relationship and do well at it than it is to shoot too high too soon. Small, progressive victories build confidence on all levels of the psyche, integrating child and adult perspectives and strengthening trust that will be needed for more difficult challenges that lie ahead.

To create what you want means to get clear about what you really want on all levels of your being. When the spiritual adult and wounded child want different things, manifestation is always mixed. That is why the time you take to integrate and unify the different needs and wants of your psyche is time well-spent.

When there is unconflicted desire in the heart and clarity on all levels of consciousness, the creative process flows easily.

If you want to succeed in your relationships with others, take the time to get to know yourself. Then it will be clear when and to whom you must say no and when and to whom you must say yes. Remember, what comes to you is not always what it seems. The knight in shining armor may be an insecure abuser in disguise, and the one offering comfort and support may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Always look beyond appearances, for nothing is as it seems to be. When you know what you want and what you need, be patient and wait for it. Many will come to you claiming to be the one you asked for, but only one will be authentic. Usually, it won’t be the one who comes with lots of smoke and mirrors. More often than not, it will be the simple unassuming one, the one who doesn’t use big words or promise great gifts, but who takes your hand and looks into your eyes without fear.

~ Miracle of Love, Abuse and Forgiveness, Paul Ferrini ~

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In each person or situation that I come across with, there is a little piece of me in each that warrants the meet – whether a quality that I admire, or detest, or perhaps even one that I am already at peace with, it is there, unless I am totally oblivious of it. And they come in so many areas, countless – in areas of a family relation, a relationship, a friendship, career, money, likes, dislikes – everything and anything that I’ve put my hands on. If I am observing someone in my fold and I am totally at peace with it, and yet within my awareness are people not at peace and I become not at peace with that, I can be sure there is something that I have not come into terms with myself and I would only be carrying the pattern of ignoring it since it has not become obvious to me. If I so happen to possess an inquisitive streak in me, and start to investigate what is it that I am not seeing, surely it will be revealed to me though clear results may take some time since that is how long I have ignored it. It is like digging up something in the backyard, being hidden for ages and ages and now I will need special tools not to mention time and effort just to resurface whatever I have hidden a long long time ago.

So people ask me, “how?” “why?” “what?” and it has been repeated, again and again, it is all in the mind. “Whose mind?” well, at first it is within “my mind” and then “your mind” and then “his mind” or even “her mind” and soon, it comes to the point of realisation that it is just “the mind”. I cannot have this without having the other; I cannot want this without wanting another. All incessant cycles of existence, over and over again… and now, what has that got to do with me?

I think there is purpose, I think there is no purpose; I put one on the pedestal and the other I put down the pedestal; I am at peace with this, and then I am not at peace with that – all encompassing, derived from ideas, thoughts, and meanings of what I would have them be. And seldom, if I was to accept one, I would accept the other – all happening in the mind, and I am caught in it when unaware. It becomes a constant struggle between one and the other – between ignorance and wisdom, especially so when wisdom has been tasted.

And so the beauty of wisdom, is to slay the delusional ignorance. And then wisdom becomes a way of life, a way to live, but what is wisdom? It is not something that derives from the right or the wrong, the good or the bad; but understanding, realising that whatever I thought was right or wrong, or good or bad has nothing to do with what the world is, or this person, or even this situation. If there are truly others, opposing to the ideas of ‘wisdom’ that I am seeming to possess, then what does it tell of me when I am triggered by their un-wiseness? I can be sure I am back to the doldrums, back to the dumps with more ‘work’ to do. And then I am asked again, “why do I have to be the one to change? To undo? To forgive?”

Well, there is only me. Who else? Is it not me that wants peace? Is it not me, who wish to smile in the midst of dramas, in the woes of the world, safe in salvation? Yet, when I am that, could it still be possible that I still see you, others and even myself as fools? Yes, fools in peace. Because the word ‘fool’ itself is too a meaning being ascribed.

My job here is just to undo, with qualities of integrity. Integrity is the willingness to see the truth of things, in the midst of the untruth, and to accept the untruth of things, in the midst of truth. How paradoxical, yet so much beauty in it. Nothing is either or, neither nor. Everything just is. So in relation to the first para, where everything and everyone is just showing me a piece of me, I am grateful. If not, how else will I know there is more to be disengaged?

I cannot want a happy dream, but a happy dream happens anyway when much has been undone though that doesn’t really mean that my work is done. It is with diligence, until the final moment.

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Evil only relative

The lover invoked blessings on that rough patrol,
Because their harshness had wrought bliss for him.
They were poison to most men, but sweets to him,
Because those harsh ones had united with him with his love.
In the world there is nothing absolutely bad;
Know, moreover, evil is only relative.
In the world there is neither poison nor antidote,
Which is not a foot to one and a fetter to another;
To one the power of moving, to another a clog;
To one a poison, to another an antidote.
Serpents’ poison is life to serpents,
In relation to mankind it is death.
To creatures of the sea the sea is a garden,
To the creatures of the land it is fatal.
In the same way, O man, reckon up with intelligence
The relations of these things in endless variety.
In relation to this man Zaid is as Satan,
In relation to another he is as a Sultan.
The latter calls Zaid a sincere Musulman,
The former calls him a Gueber deserving to be killed.
Zaid, one and the same person, is life to the one,
And to the other an annoyance and a pest.
If you desire that God may be pleasing to you,
Then look at Him with the eyes of them that love Him.
Look not at that Beauty with your own eyes,
Look at that Object of desire with His votaries’ eyes;
Shut your own eyes from beholding that sweet Object,
And borrow from His admirers their eyes;
Nay, borrow from Him both eyes and sight,
And with those eyes of His look upon His face,
In order that you may not be disappointed with the sight.
God says, “Whoso is God’s, God also is his.”
God says, “I am his eye, his hand, his heart,”
That his good fortune may emerge from adversity.
Whatsoever is hateful to you, if it should lead you
To your beloved, at once becomes agreeable to you.

~ The Mathnawi, Rumi ~

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Seek not outside yourself. For it will fail, and you will weep each time an idol falls. Heaven cannot be found where it is not, and there can be no peace excepting there. Each idol that you worship when God calls will never answer in His place. There is no other answer you can substitute and find the happiness His answer brings. Seek not outside yourself. For all your pain comes simply from a futile search for what you want, insisting where it must be found. What if it is not there? Do you prefer that you be right or happy? Be you glad that you are told where happiness abides and seek no longer elsewhere. You will fail. But it is given you to know the truth and not to seek for it outside yourself.

No one who comes here but must still have hope, some lingering illusion, or some dream that there is something outside of himself that will bring happiness and peace to him. If everything is in him, this cannot be so. And therefore by his coming, he denies the truth about himself and seeks for something more than everything, as if a part of it were separated off and found where all the rest of it is not.

The lingering illusion will impel him to seek out a thousand idols and to seek beyond them for a thousand more. And each will fail him, all excepting one; for he will die and does not understand the idol that he seeks is but his death. Its form appears to be outside himself. This is the purpose every idol has, for this the role that is assigned to it, and this the role that cannot be fulfilled.

Whenever you attempt to reach a goal in which the body’s betterment is cast as major beneficiary, you try to bring about your death. For you believe that you can suffer lack, and lack is death. To sacrifice is to give up and thus to be without and to have suffered loss. And by this giving up is life renounced. Seek not outside yourself. The search implies you are not whole within and fear to look upon devastation and prefer to seek outside yourself for what you are.

Idols must fall because they have no life, and what is lifeless is a sign of death. You came to die, and what would you expect but to perceive the signs of death you seek? No sadness and no suffering proclaims a message other than an idol found that represents a parody of life which in its lifelessness is really death, conceived as real and given living form. Yet each must fail and crumble and decay because a form of death cannot be life, and what is sacrificed cannot be whole.

All idols of this world were made to keep the truth within from being known to you and to maintain allegiance to the dream that you must find what is outside yourself to be complete and happy. It is vain to worship idols in the hope of peace. God dwells within, and your completion lies in Him. No idol takes his place. Look not to idols. Do not seek outside yourself. Let us forget the purpose of the world the past has given it. For otherwise, the future will be like the past and a series of depressing dreams in which all idols fail you once by one, and you see death and disappointment everywhere.

To change all this and open up a road of hope and of release in what appeared to be an endless circle of despair, you need but to decide you do not know the purpose of the world. You give it goals it does not have, and thus do you decide what it is for. You try to see in it a place of idols found outside yourself with power to make you complete what is within by splitting what you are between the two. You choose your dreams, for they are what you wish, perceived as if it had been given you. Your idols do what you would have them do and have the power you ascribe to them. And you pursue them vainly in the dream because you want their power as your own.

Yet where are dreams but in a mind asleep? And can a dream succeed in making real the pictures it projects outside itself? Save time, my brothers; learn what time is for. And speed the end of idols in a world made sad and sick by seeing idols there. Your holy minds are altars unto God, and where He is, no idols can abide. The fear of God is but the fear of loss of idols. It is not the fear of loss of your reality. But you have made of your reality an idol which you must protect against the light of truth. And all the world becomes the means by which this idol can be saved. Salvation thus appears to threaten life and offer death.

It is not so. Salvation seeks to prove there is no death, and only life exists. The sacrifice of death is nothing lost. An idol cannot take the place of God. Let Him remind you of His love for you, and do not seek to drown His Voice in chants of deep despair to idols to yourself. Seek not outside your Father for your hope. For hope of happiness is not despair.

~ A Course in Miracles, Chapter 29, VIII

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The husband leaves the door,
together with her dreams;
all of which she thought was hers,
leaves together with him.

A subtle clinging,
she notices –
the fear of losing
the beloved;
as he potentially
walks with another;
it might not be her
at the finale.

Yet when she saw the light,
that surrounds him,
she remembers who he truly is,
no more whom
who she’d perceive him to be.
Indeed her brother,
set to bring her home.
This, she is grateful
for the gift he bestowed her;
for it is through this,
she now know where she is.

Each of his own,
this she understood.
And it is only truth,
that would permit this peace.
Though thoughts would visit,
due to remnant ideas;
this she smiles,
for she is no longer asleep.

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What I can recognise now
is a past realisation
a past wisdom
hence my present ignorance.

What I cannot recognise now
will be a future realisation
a future wisdom
so to speak
if realised
making it another future ignorance
never ending.

For that
I can never know
when there is wisdom
or when there is ignorance
only working with what is here for me
between the space of ignorance and wisdom
which is too
wisdom at one level.

If I am looking at something
recognising it as before
I can be sure
there is still ignorance
since I have not seen it differently
how they still look the same
until seen another way
I am still caught in ignorance.

Yet the moment I can realise it
wisdom has come to visit
in that instance
becomes quickly
a past wisdom
a present ignorance
once again.

If wisdom too
is fleeting much like ignorance
then perhaps
wisdom is not wisdom
but yet just another ignorance.

But if not for this ignorance
what wisdom is there to sow?
how the ‘need to be’ is incessantly happening
in each and every moment
yet is this not the gift of wisdom
which allows me to see?

Could it be true in such a case
that there’s no ignorance or wisdom
just a play of duo, or one, or none
simply a way of life.

To live ignorantly
is to live pretty hazardously
yet what’s wrong with that
only squeezed with hostilities
if that is bliss to you
who is there to judge?

To live wisely at the other end
with much poise and balance
yet what’s so right with that
only calm in spaciousness
would that be what you wish?

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