Archive for September, 2011

‘When we…’

Often, we receive emails on kind, touching articles of how one has inspired or uplifted another ending with a ‘when we…’ at the end of those articles – as in when we actually act on whatever that was prophesized in those articles. And what we do next is delete, keep them in the mailbox or simply forward them to our friends to share the beautiful articles. Seldom do we actually learn from or act on them.

Yet, who is to know when the forwarded emails actually reach one who is inspired enough to put what was in the ‘when we…’ into action and thus create a new reality for his or herself and to those around him or her?

The question is, when those emails reach our mailbox and when we read them, could it possibly be that we are ones called to act on it to make a difference to the world?

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There was a saying that to keep a man’s heart is to tie him through his stomach – that is, a woman needs to be a good cook or at least be able to cook his favourite dishes to keep her man. I remember someone telling me that too but I never got around to cooking. Not that I don’t enjoy cooking, but I guess I didn’t want to do it to keep a man. I want to cook because I enjoy it, and during the times when I cook, I love it!

In fact, this is just a common example what most women do in order to keep their men. It is amazing and it can be in the form of anything – losing weight, dressing pretty, cultivating similar interests of what their men enjoy, sex, changing their behaviours and etc – all for the sake of keeping their men. And like it or not, some relationships with these kind of theme end up with the meaning of betrayal as its end – as a mere reflection of how one has betrayed herself in a relationship.

And paradoxically, in the world if there is no change or blending into each other’s interest, the marriage becomes somewhat empty or meaningless, doesn’t it?

Many people do this – as in change themselves just to make their beloveds happy and I am beginning to see that while it is a common trait in women, it is one that is also becoming more and more common in men too. I am not pointing out that it is wrong, for everything is merely a journey. I remember meeting a couple where the woman was brought up in a pampered environment where she never needed to do housework but met a man who loves to have his woman capable of handling house chores. The woman, being in love with the man, tried her best to do it while the man later dumped her because he thought she was not for keeps since she could not even manage basic house chores. It seemed rather silly upon hearing the whole situation, yet can anybody be put wrong in this situation? The woman needed to keep her man hence learned to clean, and the man upon seeing that she is not good at what he needs his woman to be good at broke up with her. The woman was really broken hearted and regretted much that she even attempted to change herself in that sense.

So perhaps many would say that the man didn’t really love the woman? I’d say that the woman didn’t really love the man too. Well, at least not yet because both were still coming from the need of doing something or being done to.

Anything that is done from the space of keeping someone is a form of an attack and comes from the space of fear hence the response back will be exactly the same. Even if the man was to appreciate but it would soon break the woman’s heart when the man’s attention is no longer 100% on her – also another reflection of self betrayal in that sense.

So you ask, does that mean that we don’t do anything for the beloved? Well, I’d say let’s check the intention behind it! Anything that I am doing to seek his love, appreciation, approval or to keep him happy obscuring my own integrity or own sense of being, I am actually betraying myself. It will only be soon that I’d find it a chore to do it rather than to please him and begin to loathe the whole act or worst, loathe the beloved for it! I remember meeting a woman who said that she was so tired and unhappy cooking dinner for her family as she felt that she had to do it to keep her family happy, failing to see that actually all her family wants for her is for her to be happy. Her eyes practically lit up when she realised that she didn’t have do it unless she wanted to!

And the funny thing is that when you realised you don’t have to do it, you’d finally want to do it from your own heart and there is only immense joy surrounding the whole act without any expectations from the outer because it makes you happy! Of course, when there’s hurt and disappointment when they start to complain or not appreciate the act, you’d know that it is just a reflection of the subtle sense of expectation which has crept in based on needs. That is alright too as it is just a sign to refine the intention behind one’s act from one that is based on needing something from the outer to a pure act of love and service.

So lovers, love because you love, do whatever for the beloved because it pleases you not because it pleases the other. If it pleases you to be in tune with your beloveds to address to his needs, be clear that it is what you wish to do and it pleases you and not the beloved. Then any act that you perform can only come back as a reflection of love and appreciation because any act that is done from needing something from someone has a meaning of compromise in it and we have indeed been falsely led by the need to compromise or give and take in a relationship. The word ‘compromise’ or ‘give and take’ somehow has a meaning of sacrifice in it, where I am sacrificing some of my needs for your needs to be fulfilled and vice versa. The thing is, this word itself is inaccurate for there is no such thing as sacrifice because at any one point of time, you are making a decision of what you want except that in ‘compromise’ and ‘give and take’, we consciously give up something we perceive we want when subconsciously wanting something else from others. It is obvious that it is the subconscious that finally determines the final decision hence it is in the subconscious where all intentions are known. When you ponder on the word ‘compromise’, you’d realise that there is nothing that you had sacrificed because you had actually maliciously wanted something from the other person. In this context, to compromise is indeed another act of attack to the beloved; and guess what, we do that most of the time when we are unconscious to our own inner world.

In being aware of the intentions behind any act, we can consciously choose again how to love one another fully without having the need to make anyone happy to keep them. So it is not about changing ourselves, or doing something to make the other happy or to keep the other person but more so of clearly knowing the motivation you are doing it for. When we become more aware of these patterns, then we become clear of what is more true within and able to consciously align the rightful intent and action to blossom the act into a pure act of love rather than one of attack.

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Pity not, those who are not loved;
Pity, those who are not aware that they love.

Let not Glory be given, to those who are loved;
Let Glory be given, to those who consciously love, unconditionally.

~ GG ~

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How easy it is
to be surrounded by
to get to know of the self
and to wake up from
amidst and amongst the unconscious.

Because the unconscious knows not how to refrain
knows not how to abstain
knows not how not to react
knows not how not to point their finger
how not to step into the dance with the self.

They speak, shout and act
according to how they feel as true
the harsher they are
the better it is
the more brutal
the easier to wake up!

Because they know not about themselves
they know not about the self
all they know of is
their unhappiness, anger and suffering
all reflecting back to the self
every inch of any conceptual truth.

And if the intent is to learn
if the motivation is to wake up
surely it can be seen
surely it will be awaken
as knowing of the self comes about
knowing them becomes a possibility.

Yet if, and only if
Integrity is at work
Honesty is at its entirety
Responsibility is taken fully
and not half way, midway
else it is a no way
or the highway
deeper and deeper sleep into sleep.

For you see
the unconscious do not refrain
the unconscious do not abstain
the unconscious irks you
the best they possibly can.

And after the awakening
what happens thereafter
so many possibilities
it cannot be certain
for each path its own curves
each its own traits
when in tuned with spirit
it is easy to tread.

But let us not forget the unconscious heroes
for it is through them
awakening supported
they play their role so well
else waking might only be minimal.

Slipping in between both states
unconscious teachers they may or may not remain
yet still loving unconditionally in every way
in an unconscious conscious state
until the Final Release.

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what the world sees as lost
the inner world, rich
worry, troubled, loneliness, poverty
projecting onto the one whose inner world
failing to notice
the absence of brooding over
the presence of appreciating what is
here and now
turning around, the shift in perception
assuring, comforting, loving, wise

yet, does it soothe the poor
or merely hovering a warm blanket temporarily
over the wounds of the poor
until the poor realises
their own treasures within

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Deleting the slate clean
Once again
Nothing whatsoever left
To hold on to
Leaving vessel empty and dry

And each attempt to build
And then to persevere
Only to be followed swiftly
By a final meltdown of destruct
Once again

Is this what it is?
Everything absent
Except a call to duty
Devotion – you call it
To empty the hearts’ desire
So to serve freely and wholeheartedly
And fill the seeming void
That is being resisted yet uncompromised

Or perhaps to once again
Come to peace anew
Releasing illusionary toys
And realise the void which seems daunting
Never once existed
Except in a dreamy state of a favourite fairy tale.

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The endless sobbing
Heart throbbing
The death of the Lover
Giving up
To Light

The curtains down
Props dismantled
Stage dissembled
Take a bow
The night is over
Eyes are closed
The last sigh
The final breath
Securing the cover
Madonna lilies thrown
On the coffin

Sand thrown
Hastened with movement by the shovel
Celebrating what was once before
Moaning what will never come

No one around
No prayers
No priests
No nuns
No hymns
No nothing

An emaciated death
A Glorious Birth
Coming back as Life itself
Once again

A brand new show
Until the next funeral
That is

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Sweet Beloved
those words
‘relationship’, ‘strong’
such an understatement.

Without words
sweet tenderness
moving to expressions
yet again
tainting the pure
birthing dissatisfaction
of expressions inadequate
again and again
only failing
again and again
attempting to coil what is beyond
to a congruent concept
what cannot be pleased
what more understood.

Yet when no words spoken
how hence as reassurance
when the hearts are weary
when spirit is yearning?

Listen well oh ye listeners
listen up, wise and clear
to what is spoken
beyond words
of the speaker
piercing to the ears that listen.

Speak well oh ye speakers
speak up, wise and clear
with clean intentions
with skilful clearest
yet not too much, just enough
so that soon as the listener listens
beyond what is spoken
what is hence spoken received clear and crisp
free from distortion.

What is already known
speak no more, listen no more
but to the inner heart
where all projection falls
in the midst of a heart ache
freeing sweet beloveds
leaving them taintless
clean from distortion
returning only
to pure, sweet innocence.

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You make a mockery out of me
judge me
of how I fool you
lure you
seductively to the den
and rape you
even though
you are the one
grasping or resisting
your own
and dying
to my tune.

Your reviews of
if I should be or not be here
or even there
of how pleasure is pain
once again
denying what is brought up in you
your own error
the woes, the pain and suffering
as you call them
not seeing me as I am
simply inevitably making you believe
how I am your enemy
possibly making out other stories
to eradicate and eliminate me.

What I am
not a choice
but a culmination of conditionings
for whatever reason
and simply given birth
with or without your notice
yet you put a label onto me
either loving or resisting me
and then pushing me away
when I am only what I am
while your grasping and resisting
making pleasure equating pain
hence then weary of pleasure
strangely already in some kind of pain.

Whether to embrace me or not
as if you have a choice
yet you do not see
that it is not me that intensifies me
but your very own attitude
of how it should or should not be
another layer of condition
another layer of delusion
ignorance sets to create.

So whether you are attached or detached
both too are illusive
because you are already unconsciously attached to me
or unconsciously attached to detaching from me
either way you choose
what has it got to do with me
I am just taintless
here as effect
as an experience
ready to pass by
without your interference
simply saying ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’
like good friends do
for the Wise and Innocent to enjoy.

For the Wise as in Wisdom realises
that en+joy simply means
encompassing joy
and not
entangling joy
if each experience is unequivocal
what is there to grasp or resist
what more attach or detach from?

It is simply not possible to do a detach from me
only pointing
if you are awake to me, or not…

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There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.

~ Denis Waitley

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