Posts Tagged ‘A Course in Miracles’

Each of us, a magnificent magnetic field beyond form.  Through this field, an emergence. It is not really a something, or someone or a certain kind of being. It is that of which we refer to as Love or Light, borne; yet depending on how each word is being held close to one, resultant of the differing perceptions.

The word “born” unused but “borne”; as the former has a meaning of something that did not exist and now exist while the latter somehow gives rise to a meaning (at least to me) of something that is already there but expands or extends or radiate. It is a kind of auric field that is beyond words that each word used suddenly makes it different from what it really is – when it is defined, that is.

To use the word emergence too, is limited. For it is like an eminence or a kind of presence that has always been… as said, a magnificent magnetic field that exuberates. And paradoxically, when “it” is being said, there is already a certain sense of separation for it is not “it” but a happening, beyond the concepts of what makes “I”.

In this presence, the functions of reason, justification, meaning continues and depending on the current theme of the mind, there you have it – the delicious storyline conjured. Nevertheless, what the storyline is, remains for what it is – fictitious.

Yes, there can be headaches, backaches, and shoulder aches. There can be house chores to apparently tend to, bills to pay, telephone calls to answer, emails to reply, dinners to attend, kids to care for… and yet somehow, in a certain retreat, surrendered state despite all the “doing” outside, that field is emitting, permeating… somehow.


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It’s an old video, but it’s okay.

Forgetting enlightenment and awakening for a while;
we are indeed the World, the Children.

Remembering the survivors in Japan,
thriving to survive, as to exist,
though in surrender;
the tireless rescue workers thriving the same, to save lives –
where the lover meets the beloved,
locked-in eyes,
and smiles that shows the rejoice when both or more are found.

The Self is for this – to exist,
with little value that brings much value to the World –

an existence of Love, in completion,
arising moment to moment, ceaselessly.

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Seek not outside yourself. For it will fail, and you will weep each time an idol falls. Heaven cannot be found where it is not, and there can be no peace excepting there. Each idol that you worship when God calls will never answer in His place. There is no other answer you can substitute and find the happiness His answer brings. Seek not outside yourself. For all your pain comes simply from a futile search for what you want, insisting where it must be found. What if it is not there? Do you prefer that you be right or happy? Be you glad that you are told where happiness abides and seek no longer elsewhere. You will fail. But it is given you to know the truth and not to seek for it outside yourself.

No one who comes here but must still have hope, some lingering illusion, or some dream that there is something outside of himself that will bring happiness and peace to him. If everything is in him, this cannot be so. And therefore by his coming, he denies the truth about himself and seeks for something more than everything, as if a part of it were separated off and found where all the rest of it is not.

The lingering illusion will impel him to seek out a thousand idols and to seek beyond them for a thousand more. And each will fail him, all excepting one; for he will die and does not understand the idol that he seeks is but his death. Its form appears to be outside himself. This is the purpose every idol has, for this the role that is assigned to it, and this the role that cannot be fulfilled.

Whenever you attempt to reach a goal in which the body’s betterment is cast as major beneficiary, you try to bring about your death. For you believe that you can suffer lack, and lack is death. To sacrifice is to give up and thus to be without and to have suffered loss. And by this giving up is life renounced. Seek not outside yourself. The search implies you are not whole within and fear to look upon devastation and prefer to seek outside yourself for what you are.

Idols must fall because they have no life, and what is lifeless is a sign of death. You came to die, and what would you expect but to perceive the signs of death you seek? No sadness and no suffering proclaims a message other than an idol found that represents a parody of life which in its lifelessness is really death, conceived as real and given living form. Yet each must fail and crumble and decay because a form of death cannot be life, and what is sacrificed cannot be whole.

All idols of this world were made to keep the truth within from being known to you and to maintain allegiance to the dream that you must find what is outside yourself to be complete and happy. It is vain to worship idols in the hope of peace. God dwells within, and your completion lies in Him. No idol takes his place. Look not to idols. Do not seek outside yourself. Let us forget the purpose of the world the past has given it. For otherwise, the future will be like the past and a series of depressing dreams in which all idols fail you once by one, and you see death and disappointment everywhere.

To change all this and open up a road of hope and of release in what appeared to be an endless circle of despair, you need but to decide you do not know the purpose of the world. You give it goals it does not have, and thus do you decide what it is for. You try to see in it a place of idols found outside yourself with power to make you complete what is within by splitting what you are between the two. You choose your dreams, for they are what you wish, perceived as if it had been given you. Your idols do what you would have them do and have the power you ascribe to them. And you pursue them vainly in the dream because you want their power as your own.

Yet where are dreams but in a mind asleep? And can a dream succeed in making real the pictures it projects outside itself? Save time, my brothers; learn what time is for. And speed the end of idols in a world made sad and sick by seeing idols there. Your holy minds are altars unto God, and where He is, no idols can abide. The fear of God is but the fear of loss of idols. It is not the fear of loss of your reality. But you have made of your reality an idol which you must protect against the light of truth. And all the world becomes the means by which this idol can be saved. Salvation thus appears to threaten life and offer death.

It is not so. Salvation seeks to prove there is no death, and only life exists. The sacrifice of death is nothing lost. An idol cannot take the place of God. Let Him remind you of His love for you, and do not seek to drown His Voice in chants of deep despair to idols to yourself. Seek not outside your Father for your hope. For hope of happiness is not despair.

~ A Course in Miracles, Chapter 29, VIII

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As I recall what J has done for the world in the past, and also His presence in our lives now in the very moment we are willing to give up what was never true, I feel a much deeper sense of gratitude understanding why He has chosen such a role. This should be familiar to those who practice A Course in Miracles.

For a while now, I wondered what was it that made J so adamant in the function he takes on even until today for all of us, including a living teacher I hold dearly. I remember the first time I met him (the living teacher), he told me that he has waited for me for thousands of years. Of course, I didn’t comprehend that, and until now I still don’t really believe it, but that was what came to my awareness and whether I choose to believe it or not, is altogether another matter. But again, I did wonder what made this teacher do what he does – not experiencing his life like any normal person does – a big mansion, fancy cars and etc. Well, I can’t be sure that he doesn’t already have those as an individual and I know that if I was to post this question to him, he will surely just give me a smile and probably say a few words and trusted that I’d realise the answer somehow; which I do now, with an even deeper sense of appreciation and gratitude towards him.

When I finally realised that there is only One and indeed there was no separation, I at last understood how J or this teacher of mine could play the role that they play and Love so unconditionally. It was truly Love of no choice and no choice here is not to mean that anything is forced onto them, but with qualities of naturalness and sweetness in it that it could never be repelled. It is a space that is so pure and vast that it is impossible to put into words without being misunderstood by anyone who has not experienced it before. It was then, that I could finally believe that there is indeed just Love, and that it was simply impossible to Love anyone or anything with conditions except when I am not yet awaken to the concepts I still hold true about what I thought was Love. In truth, there is no even an “I”, “you”, “him” or “her”. And if and when I say that I love you, or they love me, it is only to denote a directed attention, which in actual fact, also not true.

Love, is just my choice of a word labelled onto an inner being state and does not denote what it really is by any ideas. No one can really put that kind of space into words as it would simply demean what cannot fully be explained but to be experienced. It is impossible to love you, or even myself as that is simply delusion at work that there is another out there separated from me. We are part of a whole system in form, never separated in truth and don’t even really exist as an “I” or “you” or “him” or “her”. To mimic that experience too, is delusion at work.

It is no wonder that anyone who has seen, experienced and understood this space will be inspired to move towards the direction that both J and my teacher took on. Functions may differ, but the objective is always the same.

My deepest respect, gratitude and appreciation to the Great Masters; passed off and living; for the journey that they have took on, leaving trails for us and continuing the lineage of the teachings to aid the awakening in each of us.

All because, there is only One.

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Do you believe that truth can be but some illusions? They are dreams because they are not true. Their equal lack of truth becomes the basis for the miracle, which means that you have understood that dreams are dreams and that escape depends not on the dream, but only on awaking. Could it be some dreams are kept and others wakened from? The choice is not between which dreams to keep, but only if you want to live in dreams or to awaken from them. Thus it is the miracle does not select some dreams to leave untouched by its beneficence. You cannot dream some dreams and wake from some, for you are either sleeping or awake. And dreaming goes with only one of these.

The dreams you think you like would hold you back as much as those in which the fear is seen. For every dream is but a dream of fear, no matter what the form it seems to take. The fear is seen within, without, or both. Or it can be disguised in pleasant form. But never is it absent from the dream, for fear is the material of dreams from which they all are made. Their form can change, but they cannot be made of something else. The miracle were treacherous indeed if it allowed you still to be afraid because you did not recognize the fear. You would not then be willing to awake, for which the miracle prepares the way.

In simplest form, it can be said attack is a response to function unfulfilled as you perceive the function. It can be in you or someone else, but where it is perceived it will be there, it is attacked. Depression or assault must be the theme of every dream, for they are made of fear. The thing disguise of pleasure and of joy in which they may be wrapped but slightly veils the heavy lump of fear which is their core. And it is this the miracle perceives, and not the wrappings in which it is bound.

When you are angry, is it not because someone has failed to fill the function you allotted him? And does not this become the “reason” your attack is justified? The dreams you think you like are those in which the functions you have given have been filled, the needs which you ascribe to you are met. It does not matter if they be fulfilled or merely wanted. It is the idea that they exist from which the fears arise. Dreams are not wanted more or less. They are desired or not. And each one represents some function which you have assigned, some goal which an event, or body, or a thing should represent and should achieve for you. If it succeeds, you think you like the dream. If it should fail, you think the dream is sad. But whether it succeeds or fails is not its core but just the flimsy covering.

How happy would your dreams become if you were not the one who gave the “proper” role to every figure which the dream contains. No one can fail but your idea of him, and there is no betrayal but of this. The core of dreams the Holy Spirit gives is never one of fear. The coverings may not appear to change, but what they mean has changed because they cover something else. Perceptions are determined by their purpose in that they seem to be what they are for. A shadow figure who attacks become a brother giving you a chance to help if this becomes the function of the dream. And dreams of sadness thus are turned to joy.

What is your brother for? You do not know because your function is obscure to you. Do not ascribe a role to him which you imagine would bring happiness to you. And do not try to hurt him when he fails to take the part which you assigned to him in what you dream your life was meant to be. He asks for help in every dream he has, and you have help to give him if you see the function of the dream as He perceives its function, Who can utilize all dreams as means to serve the function given Him. Because He loves the dreamer not the dream, each dream becomes an offering of love. For at its center is His love for you, which lights whatever form it takes with love.

~ A Course in Miracles, Chapter 29, V

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The other day, a beloved expressed something to me spontaneously. It was something that was so sweet and beautiful to the ears that each time I am being brought back to the memory of that moment, it brings a smile to my face. Yet, it is not an acknowledgement of what I think of myself that has brought the smile to my face, but an appreciation for what had happened in the beloved’s space that has brought a sense of sweetness to the heart.

I could very well acknowledge the expression as a reflection, which might as well be true too. But I already know who I am, so to speak, so to receive an expression like that, without having to scheme or manipulate the situation in order to hear what I wanted to hear was pleasing and delicious since never before had I experience hearing such expressions coming from a beloved so spontaneously, without expectations.

But what is more true is this – that what the beloved had expressed was from the beloved’s space, the beloved’s perception of what was arising in that moment. And my appreciation was not entirely for what I heard, or what came out from the beloved – but appreciation for the beloved’s appreciation of the beloved’s perception which seems to have me in it. As much as it looked like it had something to do with me, but in truth, it had nothing to do with me; for it was the beloved’s perception that has beauty in it, and I am merely a sweet witness to it or to put it in another way, an object met by a mind which has beauty as its state at that point in time.

Beauty is indeed in the eyes of the beholder. When we are blessed with lens of beauty, everything we see has beauty in it. The mind may interpret to why there is such beauty, but in truth, there is no reason. It is what it is. The distorted teeth, the sweat on the forehead, the torn shirt one is wearing, even the beggar on the street. All are beautiful; all is beauty when the lens of beauty is in place hence the projection of such. So we can imagine if we had any other lens in place at that point in time, that would exactly be projected out, hence creating our experiences of an outer reality which is only true to the mind.

Expressions are beautiful. They tell us of our mental states, or what is in the mind. It can be in form of words, or a hug, or merely just a stance of stillness just watching. There’s beauty in everything it sees, it hears, it touches, it speaks. Nothing is being left out. Even the stools on the grass, the raindrops on the leaves. Such loveliness and splendour – all encompassing. Still, all is only happening in the mind. There is nothing outside that causes it. It is the state of mind, which has beauty in it that allows such experience manifesting as expressions.

Now, I am not undermining the beloved’s expression. I loved the experience and being able to be a bare witness to it. It is a blessing as the beloved was experiencing a happy dream! But to see the beloved’s expressions directing at me, gratifying the belief that someone else out there thinks of me in such a way if I liked what I hear and wanted to hear it again is to maintain my poise – a certain composure so that I might hear that once again. That would have me set a limitation to myself, of how I should act or behave a certain way, or say certain things just to have that experience of being expressed the same thing over and over again. This will set me back to the path of addiction, of wanting more of what I had experienced, for it will remind me how very ‘special’ I am, how very ‘loved’ and ‘beautiful’ I am, relying on another to accomplish what I had not come to terms with within myself – if I had not come to terms with myself, that is.

Such beauty can turn defiled at any one time, without the sight of Wisdom. Yet with the charming gift of Wisdom, is the beauty appreciated once more, in innocence, in Truth and unity.

Perception is a mirror, not a fact. And what I look on is my state of mind, reflected outward. – A Course in Miracles

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This term ‘spiritual companionship’ came into the awareness today. And I sat with it for a while. I wondered what it meant, what it truly meant. It sounds as if, there is someone there, who could be of a companion of some sort in the journey, as in one person, like a soul mate or a twin flame; like a partner – someone to walk the journey with together so that it is not so ‘lonely’.

Anyone who has been long enough in the journey would know by now how alone this journey can be. While many think that they are on the same boat, or wrapped in some morphic or auric field, strangely how I see it seems otherwise. Although I do not deny the possibilities of that, but what seems to will one’s faith or strength in the journey; at least, in my own experience; is not a person, or a group, although that can be an initial cause. After a while, all that has been mentioned have to be stripped away and the person is left alone in the pathless path.

Yes, there are friends, partners or even a spiritual family. When I looked deeper into all these, it was more of a sense of belonging, or at times, some kind of comfort accompanying that I am not alone. But that comfort itself is an illusion, for it serves as some form of floor that holds up the focus to continue the somewhat difficult journey. While many think that we are all in the same boat, I’d say that we are each on our own boat but heading the same way.

So I was told, that the Buddha said that good friends on a spiritual journey are important. Of course they are. In my own experience of good friends on a spiritual journey is that no story is taken personally and what I mean to say is that when what is meant to be learnt is learnt, the storyline ceases and resentment does not hold, save and unless still in an unconscious state. A friend was constantly expressing how comfortable she felt being in our company because we are conscious and we do not judge. What she does not know is that judgement is not our doing and is happening all the time – it is only whether we buy into it, or question it to bring the mind back to its balance. Judgement of any sorts, have never been directed outwards, although it seems like it. It always comes back to defining self, the very qualities that we like or dislike about ourselves.

My spiritual companion, and the one and only spiritual companion is my Beloved – the Holy Spirit, or rightfully put in A Course in Miracles, the Voice of God. The other day, whilst in a conversation with my partner, he expressed that I no longer love him. It was strange… my being in love with the Holy Spirit allowed me to love him wholly, without having to put him or me into the prison. Having said that, I cannot deny that there are still residual concepts but it is being slowly, gradually and with surety, being wiped away by the Holy Spirit. Perhaps, what my partner meant was that I no longer loved him with the conditions that I used to anymore.

The Holy Spirit is not a person, or a character but an inner voice. An inner voice that constantly clears the way by showing me what I had misperceived as truth. I am a lover of Truth, even though it may mean that what I thought was right, was indeed wrong and the consequences may at times lead to occasional embarrassment and resent towards self. Yet, as gentle as nature, He shows me again… the innocence that resides in all.

This reminds me of a time when I asked one of my teachers this question. I asked him, since so many went to him, and he provided support and teachings to all, who does he go to in time of his own need? Although he did not give me a direct answer, he shared with me a story of a student who once asked his teacher of the same. The teacher told his student, that during times of his own needs for clarity, it is the Dharma that he turns to. That to me, must have been his spiritual companion. Much like my teacher. Much like myself, right now; though the Holy Spirit can at times turn up through a form. J

Of course, I am not implying that we no longer need teachers, friends, partners or a spiritual family, but ‘need’ itself is a sinful word although it seems necessary in the beginning journey. There is no ‘need’, but a wilful choice to learn from each other and to grow together towards the same path of liberation.

To hold up for others, is to continuously take responsibility for what arises in our space, and in the integrity of correcting the errs once made in our perception, others are then free. This again, is only happening within my space and I can never know if it is the same for others.

As the nature of this journey is such – each of its own. How else can it be? And blessed am I, to have Him walk with me.

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